you dont know what to think, but you know the feelings tyte

Fri, 09 Jan 2004 05:24:53 GMT

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<lj-cut text="too much time on my hands...">
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so i figured why not post a million pix at a time, rather than 48678074 seperate ones.
lately i dont even know what im feeling
i really like this guy and i finally got the guts to tell him
he didnt say much of anything
oh well what am i supposed to do?
cant just stop thinking about him just like THAT but i guess it'll be a while until i can and thats normal
tommorow im probably hanging out with my keg buddy carlos!!!!! =] yay
(for all u outsiders, keg is better than a 6 pack!! mwahaha)
anyway so yah, i dono what else ahas been up. marissa came over today and we went and played basketball and raquetball at the westwood club
that was great fun
that little blue ball is like my anger output.
i hit that sucker like its the face of every person ive ever had problems with or make my life a little harder
sometimes i feel like i AM the little blue ball tho
bouncing around so much going in all directions...dont know which way to go and dont know how long it'll be till i bounce back

hmm maybe im just a lame proverb??
oh well lol either way, its allllll good in this 'hood.
oh btw, good news!! marissas not moving to england
yay
maaaaan some people are soooooo gay
wow
seriously like people at my school that are stupid for no reason should die
and i probably do really mean that
but lets pretend i dont k?
anyway tho, i dono what else to say. im a confused nutcase of feelings and im not too sure what to think about everything

i need a GOOD guy
and i thought i had found him
but i guess he doesnt feel the same
i give up

RawR

Tue, 30 Dec 2003 19:05:08 GMT

WOW i have too much fun with cameras..

and i hope you know your my favorite thing about the west coast

Mon, 29 Dec 2003 20:28:37 GMT

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<lj-cut text="my best friend in the whole world">
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i miss him so much
i love him so much
i cant want for him to come back to san diego
michael moore ur the best friend anyone could ever have
thank you so much for all the times youve ever listened to me and helped me thru stuff
i appriciate it so much
i appriciate you so much too!
if i could take back some of the stuff i did and do it differently, i would
but for the most part
all the time ive ever ever spent with you was so great and so much fun
i love you mike
i honestly do
your my miracle mikey
nobody can ever take that away from me

new layout

Mon, 29 Dec 2003 18:54:22 GMT

fun stuff!!
i got a new layout and its awesome!
lol..i like it

BIG UPS TO NIKKI for the seethru color code!!

love you
happy birthdayyyyyyy

blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazed

Mon, 29 Dec 2003 04:21:44 GMT

got blazed again!
=]
sisters boyfriend thought i was funny andtook pix with his camera phone!!!
hahahaa theyre awful but oh well

he felt the need to take pictures of my lips...said they looked super huge

whatever floats his boat man

no matter what i gotta say, ima make sure that u stay

Mon, 29 Dec 2003 03:46:23 GMT

*yesterday was super fun.
*today was super fun.
*im liking the pattern im seeing!!
*yesterday i cleaned my room as thouroughly as humanly possible.
*i really like how it turned out!
*i plan to keep it like this for a while..its easy.
*last nite me and some friends, who wish to be unnamed, went out and got so blazed it wasnt even funny, then drove around westwood trying to find a good place to chill, then went to taco bell. it was so fun omfg. the burrito supreme i got..i think it was burrito supreme anyway..was SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO good. wow.
me and 1 of my friends came back to my place and hung out before we went to sleep!
this morning we went to subway then took my friend home. i hung out for a while then me and lauren started talking then we decided we were gona go to CORONADO!
[[thats an island dood!!!!]] i swear ive lived in san diego my whole life and i didnt know that. anywayyyy so we were walking around the streets and stuff there, its almost like REAL land, but its an ISLAND! hahaha. there was this dumbass lady who was like super duper loud,HOW CUTE IS THIS PURSE! i looked at it and it was hella ugly so i was like PFFF NOT VERY!!!! hahha it was awesome. =]
dumb rich white folks. NOTHING AGAINST WHITE PEOPLE!...its just how i am shhh. chill white people are cool anyway. so then we drove to mira mesa and ate at fuddruckers, holy shit that place is good too, i had never been there before either. so then we drove back down here and here i am.

btw

the raiders lost today,but it doesnt matter cuz TRU raiders fans kno that the raiders are the shit anywaze.

Go RAiDERS!!!!

nothin much guyyyys

Fri, 26 Dec 2003 09:37:09 GMT

still sore from surgery...suprise suprise.
didnt get anything i wanted for x-mas
suprise suprise yet again.
my room is a godawful mess
im so fucken lazy to clean it
my brother left his salad bowl in here
theres no way in hell im gona get the blame for that
im gona go put it in his room
i didnt get the digital camera i wanted
super bummer.
i still like steven
suprise suprise a third time
this is like a random bulletin board
i hit enter whenever i finish a thought
hahahaha wtf im so weird

im tired
thats probly why
its 137 am
wowie
k im out byebye

this may be the last thing that i write for long...

Fri, 19 Dec 2003 16:48:04 GMT

so this is pretty much gona be my last post for a while...my surgerys in like an hour and 45 minutes or something.

i dono how long i'll be fucked up for
but maybe im just over reacting and will be fine!
=O who knows

anywayyyyyyyyyy so yah basically im scared
my mom keeps saying i'll take it like "a trooper"
and i keep saying that im gona die
i think shes saying i'll be fine cuz she doesnt wana scare me
but i think shes scared too

ugh im so scared
my insides are churning

this is TERRIBLE

=[ scared

Fri, 19 Dec 2003 06:01:38 GMT

so tommorow morning @ 10:30 is my surgery.
im so incredibly scared, you guys dont even know. ='[
nothin importants been goin on, jus the usual shit.
my break has officially started.
party at my house saturday night

yeeeeeeeaaa beyatch!

tyyyyyytttteeeee

Tue, 16 Dec 2003 03:53:21 GMT

today was awesome.
no complaints.
when i got home from school, i went into the backyard and blew bubbles.
it was SO fun..i dono why.
im just a lil kid like that.
nothing really eventful happened at school today.
im gona get into the shower right now and then do my english homework

layter

mmm...i have the munchies

Mon, 15 Dec 2003 02:31:56 GMT

smoked last night with some cooooool people =] i should proollllly cut down...

...NAH
lol
im bored tho man.
seriously!!!
not much to say...
nobody reads this but nikki anyway
HI NIKKI LOVE U NIKKI K THNX BYE NIKKI

layyyyyyyyyyyyyyyter playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyer

FUN SHIT MANNN

Sat, 13 Dec 2003 01:07:27 GMT

last night me an my sis got pissed at my parents an shit, then we peaced out an went to this bar in penisquitos with my sisters frien josh, his frien tom an toms frien aaron. [[apparently aaron goes to RB]] anywaze so we were shootin pool an shit, then we smoked a bowl in toms car. that shit was dank an when i say dank i mean oh ma fucken god. 1 hit an i was BLOWN...i think thas cuz i havent smoked in a while or somethin tho. omfg tho ferreal that shit was hellla crazy. we left the bar at like 12 then went to some place in 4 S ranch. that shit was tyte tho it was in tha middle uh nowhere an then smoked another bowl. i dint tho cuz if my dad was up he woulda shit a mofuckin brick lol. i was gone anyway so it was aright. then omg everyone was HELLA FUNNY....but thas prolly cuz i was blown as a mofuckaaa. hahahah. alex an dominic are comin down here in a lil bit an hes gona smoke me out. =] yay for me. anywaze im outt

how uncool

Wed, 10 Dec 2003 12:45:44 GMT

my cat woke me up.its 4:45. i dont hafta be up till 6. i wana take a shower, but wtf man its so cold and i cant take a shower cuz i dono what im gona do with my hair after. lol. i guess im not taking a shower. i need to see what im wearing. that doesnt even matter either.SWEET. so it turns out marissa's moving to england. that seriously sucks. yah i cried, no need to deny it. shes been my friend since like forever. WTF how gay. im so sad. this is unfair and totallyyyyyyyyy unnecessary. why her? why not one of the bitches that hate me at the school?
that would be a lot better.

nothins important...

Sat, 06 Dec 2003 04:00:17 GMT

damn man. i dun have mono after all, juss fucken lazy an shit. im pretty sick tho. feelin shitty. good thing i have no friends or plans for the weekend. makes me feel so fucken loved...skoo was skoo today. nothin special. felt like shit all day tho. my friends are so gay omfg

Thu, 04 Dec 2003 18:47:56 GMT

M to the O to the N to the O...hoo-fuckin-ray for mono!

=[

nothing

Wed, 03 Dec 2003 03:14:40 GMT

nothings happened. i did this really stupid thing with this really stupid guy who cant keep his story strait..or his mind. people in vegas know..at least not alotta people at skoo...i dont really wana post what i did cuz like yah thatd be pretty whorish. rawr. i act like anyone reads this. late

its been a while

Tue, 11 Nov 2003 23:43:33 GMT

um. nothings changed...seriously. i got a new house. its nikkis old house. my rooms gona be pure raiders. go raiders. the walls are grey. everything else black. go team. i saw ricardo. it was tyte. last night i went to the movies wid carl tanya ryan marissa and saeed. and me. it was fun..the movie was super confusing. we all crowded into ryans car, then went back to westwood, and thennn we wwent back to westwood. carl went to sleep, ryan tanya and marissa went back to tanyas, so me and saeed just started walking aimlessly then decided to go to the westwood skoo. we were on the swings for a lil bit, an den we went to chill on the jungle gym. it was fun. it was hella cold tho. i dont really write in this..nobody reads it, like, ever. mmhmm. fun. i drove today. it was pretty fun. its easy. im a good driver. im painting my room tonight but i think i already sed that. im too lazy to scroll up an check. juss pretend ok? as far as guys go, im strait up confused. i dono wuh i want anymore or wuhever. im NEUTRAL. im getting a camera phone. fun! ok yea no wonder people never read this. im such a boring person...byee

im so excited its not even funny!

Tue, 28 Oct 2003 18:09:25 GMT

ricardos prolly coming friday. im so fucken excited its not even funny. i had a dream about it last night. =) so hot. lol. im chillen atm y sisters work today and yeaaaaa...last night i went to the beach wit tanya juss to kick it an shit, and den like tanya was determined that she was gonna call ricardo, so i wus juss like GO AHEAD. she called him and they talked for like a MINUTE. pretty funny. then i just talked to him for a half an hour, and omggggggg i want him so much and i cant even wait any longer to see him. after i got home from the beach i called ricardo back and we talked for like an hour, den him, bianka (his sister) an junior (his lil bro) were playing a G'd up version of scrabble an so he told me he'd call me back. funny guy...so he called me back like 10:45 and we juss talked. at one point i wus like ricky im gon die and he was like then ima die too cuz theres nothing worth living for if you die i was smiling so much. goddd he makes me smile so much all the time. tanya even told me when i was on the phone with him that i wouldnt stop smiling. theres just something about that kid that makes me so happy. i fell asleep after we hung up wit eachother, and i had a dream that he did come over. i woke up so incredibly happy that you dun even know. seriously i woke up smiling. omg whoever reads this anymore!!!!! i like ricardo soooo much, its crazy. he may not come on friday if the fires dont stop, so ive been like praying that they will stop because if he doesnt come this weekend, hes coming next weekend...i cant wait that long..lol i'll seriously go fucken insane. sure, go ahead and call me obsessed and in <3. i'll go ahead and admit it...i am obsessed and in <3 with ricardo ortiz.

whatchu gona do?

RAWR! all my feelings released...finally

Thu, 23 Oct 2003 19:43:33 GMT

yesterday was super eventful. school was pretty normal, other than the fact that some girl wanted to kick my ass over nothing...god i love dramatic people that think theyre the shit and that their super hard. SWEET. kay so whatever...then i came home an checked my e-mail an my sister sent me the conversation that her and my mom had, and they got into a big fight and whatever. then my dad came into my room and started flippin a bitch cuz i almost/might get into a fight, and then i was wearing a SEAN JOHN jacket cuz i borrowed it from amin, and my dad was like OH SO NOW U WEAR NIGGER CLOTHES?! i went off on him and he just left my room pissed cuz i wus totally right in everything i said.finally,my sister came home and i talked to her for a lil bit, then my mom took me to the orthodontist. after we went to target so my mom could get some shit for the kids, which pissed me off cuz i hate the kids and shit so it just bugged. in the car on the way home, saeed called my cell and i was all like happy cuz saeeds the awesome-est so then my mom told me to call him back when we got home, and whatever so i did. then my mom was talking to me about the kids and i seriously couldnt care less about the retarded kids so i just say anything. then my mom went off bout how i only treat my friends good and treat everyone else like shit, which is sooooo not even true, so just sat there and took her shit. then i got home, got the house phone and caled saeed back. i started yelling at my lil brother cuz hes fucken COOL and gives perfect strangers on the internet the house phone # AND my cell phone number. what the hell i was like URRR SUCHHH A FAGGG. then, needless to say, he went and told my mom that i was calling him names, and of course the little pansy failed to mention that he called me a bitch and told me to fuck off and all this other shit....he always does that shit. anywaze, so then my mom storms into the room and im just like whoa...cuz she totally trips about randomness and i just get really really really really mad because she wont listen to me fer shit and doesnt respond. she started unplugging my computerr and shit. i was like OKAY COOLGUY time to tell me what the fuck ur doing. anywaze so then she just ignord me and i got really really pissed and so she was just like IM TAKING YOUR COMPUTER!! THATS IT! i was like FINE IM LEAVING...cuz i seriously thought she would stop taking the shit out if i did, but she was just like GIVE ME UR CELL PHONE THEN and i was like NO! and then she was like COME BACk and i just hauled ass out the door, and walked down the big hill..i was sooooooo fucken pissed it wusnt even funny. it was dark and kinda scary but i was so mad that i wasnt even paying attention to anything to begin with. oh well. so then i called my aunt and she dint really say much...wanted to know if i wanted her to pick me up and i told her that since she so far away that nvm, but then she got worried and shit, and then she was juss like ARE U SURE ARE U SURE!? and i wus like yea its arrite i'll survive. then my sister called me and i ignored it cuz i wusnt sure whether it was my mom or my sister, but i didnt want to risk it. so then i called lauren and asked if she wus busy, and she came to pick me up right away, and then i went back to her house with her for like a good 20 minutes. then my sister called and i answered, and she picked me up at the taco bell like 15 minutes later. then we went to soup plantation and talked. i really didnt want to come back home. finally i juss did, and my comp was gone out my room...lol...shes so dumb cuz she didnt realize that if my comps not hooked up, none of the computers work wit internet cuz the router is strait off my comp. lol, so since my sis needed it, she took it out my moms room and gave it to me to hook back up..i hooked it back up and then signed on my s/n for a sec and ricardo wus on so i told him to IM me on my cell phone. so he did, and we talked for a lil bit, and i guess hes supposed to holla at me today. we'll see..... then i just finished my math homework, and went to bed around 10. at 12:45 my dad storms in my room cuz he just got home, and hes fucken yelling on the top of his lungs. i was like WOW UR GAY...he told me to go into the livingroom so i did, and then he reemed on me. i was a smartass the whole time, cuz i was just hella tired. then my mom comes out of nowhere, starts yelling at me too, and im just cornered and getting attacked at all sides. they were juss buggin and i was like making them seem like the badguys the best way i could, and then my sister came out of her room too, and started defending me. my parents threatened to send me to tijuana. i was like if you guys wana send me to mexico, go right ahead then they were kinda like at a loss of words cuz they thought id like trip out bout it....WRONG...then we just argued for a long ass time more, me an my sis vs the parents. it felt good to get everything i had to out. so finally i just went to bed, and then my dad came in like 5 minutes later telling me he was sorry, and i was like dad? and he was like YEA? and i wus like promise me that u wont be racist towards my friends that you dont even know then he was like I JUST DONT LIKE HOW THEY DRESS and i was like that has nothing to do with who they are, and if you ever wana meet any of my friends or anything like that, your gonna need to learn to accept them for who they are, not for what they wear, or else im just gonna hafta continue to not bring any friends over. and he was like OKAY I PROMISE...i promise. in my head i was just like THANK GOD cuz it gets old. this morning i woke up at 6:45 and was in nooooo mood to get dressed in 15 minutes and go to school, so i just didnt go today. i did my big ass math project, that is like PRO-SKILLness, and if i dont get a good grade, ima be pissed cuz i did such a good fucken job on it, its not even funny. it turns out that after all of last nights events, im not grounded from ANYTHING and im juss chillen. school gets out in an hour and i want it to be over already so i can get the homework i have to do tonight so if / when ricardo decides to holla at me tonight, i wont have ANYTHING to trip about.....IM REALLY SORRY THIS ENTRY IS SO LONG, AND IM NOT FORCING ANYONE TO READ IT...

i <3 []2icardo

Tue, 21 Oct 2003 05:08:48 GMT

today wus aright. text messaged saeed alllll day long. =) fun stuff. i love that kid. came home...kicked it on aim...watched the raider game. [ we lost =(.. ] talked to saeed on the phone till my house phone died. i miss ricardo so much. all i wana do is lay down, hug my pillow and think/dream about him. rawr =(. too bad i still have homework. parents stressin bout all this house stuff. i think itd all be easier if we were all high. yay.
alex comes back on friday.
ricardo might come down halloween weekend

whys it all in the future.
i want it now

dont stop get it get it

Sun, 19 Oct 2003 05:27:54 GMT

rawr. today was pretty event-less. went 2 nikkis last night, then i came home this morning. i got stung by a bee on my foot. my whole ankle feels really sore. looked at the new house, picked out rooms, all that good stuff. came home, packed my life away. went back to the house to sign papers, went to taco bell, came home, packed more. parents went out a lil bit ago an im still here. i packed 5 boxes today. im a champ. i had to re-pierce my 3rd hole in my ears today. dint hurt or anything. yea i dono what to really say. ricardos calling me tommorow, and i actually am really looking forward to it cuz i <3 him. im really tired.

peace

it feels like love to meeeeeeeee

Sat, 18 Oct 2003 17:07:23 GMT

blah. i dono. simple as that. everything doesnt feel right. rawr

being invisible..or something like it

Thu, 16 Oct 2003 22:12:38 GMT

when i woke up, i knew that today was going to be hella gay. my cat spilled my water all on my backpack an shit so i had to be a cool guy an use a purse to go to school...i dono about u but i HATE purses with a passion...so taking them to school isint exactly TYTE. i went to school like normal, then like in my computer class the kid that sits next to me was all up on me all period and hes SUPER NASTY and i wanted to like hit him in the face...so i did. i dono about u but i dont think that guys have a right to be all up on u juss cuz theyre bigger. if you dont care that they are all up on you, or like it when guys are all up on u, then its different. anyway, then there was break, and i was with shelby and laura. i hid shelby and laura from thomas cuz laura had his CD player, then aaron came up to them an started talking to them for a while. i kinda just stood there,but whatever. english was boring as fuck. i pretended that i dint feel good so i could walk around the school. that wasnt much funner. i went back to english and lissened to my CD player and whatever. finally the class was over so i went to my locker and got my shit for my next class and went to lunch. i mostly walked around. didnt see shelby or laura =( theres so many people i think i like and i know i dont that everything in my minds just swirling. i hate when guys are one way when its not in person, then TOTALLY act another way when it is in person. fuckin white people...no..scratch that...FUCKIN PEOPLE! i feel like such a fag right now its pretty cool. im ugly guys..i cant help it. im sorry. you can do a lot better than me, we both know that. and since we both know it, dont try and use me to just fulfill random fantasies that u think any other girl wont do. im not about it.

i have enough fucking friends.
thanks

peeeAce

-that one girl

hah i dono

Wed, 15 Oct 2003 23:13:09 GMT

today was...well lets just say ive had better daze. it wasnt a good day to begin with. my cat was sleeping on me and i didnt know it when i woke up so i rolled over on his paw and he scratched the fuck out my chest..then i got into the shower and got out like normal, but then when i got out i had like 20 minutes to figure out what the fuck to do with myself, so my hair looked like shit today and i was overall BLAH. not really much else to day....i think i might take a nap again..just because theres absolutely nothing else to do...

--going..going..GONE

bunkbunkbunkbunkbunkbunkbunkbunkbunkbunkbunk

Wed, 15 Oct 2003 02:03:57 GMT

last 2 daze have been pretty chill. no complaints...cept i had to walk home from school today cuz my faggot ass ride neva told me there was a new meeting place so i got to stand there like an IDIOT for like 30 minutes...waiting. it was sad. i was depressed. then i got super pissed. so i called up my moms and told her that the ride never came, then the bitch went off on ME cuz she thought i was off bunking AKA having sex for those of u who are mis-informed. moms a bitch sometimes. today i overcame alllllllll shyness and said hi to aaron =D...hotness! i wus proud of myself and had a better day. lol wow how gay am i? oh man! then i smiled at him at lunch and he smiled back and my knees felt all gooeyness..lol....at many times i just wanted to run up to him and hug him but i resisted all temptation...lol. ANYWAZE! on to some less important news...when i got home i took a nap cuz im super lazy and stuff, and i just woke up, and my mom walked in an wus all your always on the computer..thats all you do i was pissed. i was like for your infomation moms! i juss woke up!! then she was like yea ur lazy too i was heated cuz the bitch thinks she knows me..hahahah...okay well she does but she acts like she knows wut i do and who i...fuck it nvm i dont even know what im tryin to say here. anywaze..i have some homework, but nothing is due tommorow cuzza lab day and whatever, but i should prolly study for my spanish quiz...yea isint that sad? a mexican studying? oh well. i feel like dancing

...and here we go

S heLLEye Be 173: ur so0o cute
SHELBY I LOVE U!